Wild Rose Detox

Back when I was a yo-yo dieter, I tried many a cleanse under the guise of ‘decontaminating’ my digestive system. Some of these so-called cleanses involved: cutting out all carbs, cutting out all fat, cutting out cooked food, cutting out food you have to chew, cutting out all food altogether. While the rotating carousel of things I couldn’t eat kept my interest for the short-term, it was all very unpleasant and something I told myself I would never repeat.


Perhaps it’s because after a certain passage of time, even difficult life lessons are able to be romanticized, or perhaps I’m just muddled in the mind. Well – whatever the reason, I have decided to go on another cleanse.

For the most part my intentions are legit this time. (Although I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be pleased to see some weight melt off.) I’ve been feeling out of sorts ever since I went on a 5-day bender in Tijuana. Since September, I have been experiencing an assortment of unpleasant bodily symptoms such as: dry skin, acne flare-ups, bloating, slower metabolism, low energy, etc etc.

Ever the optimistic (gullible?) consumer. I determined that a detox cleanse would reset my system. This time I am doing the 12 day Wild Rose Detox Cleanse.

I admit I didn’t do thorough research on it, I pretty much went into a health store and bought the kit that looked the least likely to give me cancer. One draw for me was that the Wild Rose Detox came in pill form. My mind correlates medicine with pill shaped objects, and medicine seems very safe to ingest. (Please don’t question my logic I can’t explain it either)

While on this detox, you have to take 6 pills + 1 teaspoon of the tonic before breakfast and dinner each day for 12 days. You also have to stick to a strict meal plan.

The main dietary restrictions are: no alcohol, no sugar, no salt, no tropical fruits, no dairy, no simple carbs, no fermented foods, no yeast, no tropical fruits, no grapes or bananas, no black tea, no junk food (obviously)

I started today so expect the first update tomorrow.

 

For full disclosure, my nutritionist best friend advised that “cleanses are not backed by scientic research…” (ok ok lemme waste my money and sanity if I want to)

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